The period of the new year can feel unsettling, scary and can contribute to low-mood, self-loathing, and rumination. In my work with clients I have found that the new year unearths old fears as well as the existential dread of growing older and not being at the stage in life that they may have hoped to be or believed that they 'should' be at. These themes can lead to spiralling anxiety which can lead to us self-flagellating and deciding that the answer is to work harder, to push our bodies to extreme degrees, or to feel hopeless and defeated.
Today I wanted to look at some basic, but important, considerations that I often raise with clients who come with these fears. And, as we look at them, we add some contexts and some ideas of how to work with each other to create a life worth living - which is what it is all about at the end of the day!

The 'New Year' as a social construct
In the Western world, we typically follow the Gregorian calendar to mark the beginning of the year. However, other cultures celebrate the new year at different times throughout the seasons. For example, the Hindu new year generally occurs between March and April, the Chinese new year often falls between late January and February, and some cultures base their new year on the lunar calendar. Whether it's September, January, or April, the concept of 'the new year' is arguably a construct, reflecting a subjective observation of time in addition to cultural beliefs. My intention is not to diminish these cultural beliefs, but rather to highlight that our perception of time is personal and subjective. The natural world remains in mid-winter when the Gregorian calendar marks the new year on January 1st, with its renewal—akin to a 'new year'—not beginning until spring. Therefore, perhaps its best to acknowledge our own place in nature, despite how far we distance ourselves from it in the concrete jungle. It is dark, it is cold, now is the time to care for yourself, to wrap up warm and prepare for the freshness of Spring (i.e: not for unrealistic goals and expectations).
The new year doesn't need to be regarded as a major event. Picture the years of our lives as race tracks. In a sprint, we would run one lap, making it crucial to cross the finish line first. However, in a long-distance run, runners may cross that line multiple times, with different leaders emerging at each crossing. Yet, crossing the line each time isn't the main focus; it's about pacing and the broader concept of winning the race overall. While life isn't an Olympic sport about winning or losing, there's truth in recognising when to pace ourselves and when to push, being realistic with our timing, and understanding that passing the proverbial 'line' each time isn't the success indicator we often think it is.
You can read more of my reflections on spring and the concept of the new year (as well as what it means for our wellbeing) on my blog post 'Smells like spring spirit'.
Running before you can walk!
When we think about setting and reaching New Year’s goals, it’s easy to focus on big aspirations like getting fit, working a new skill or hobby, or advancing our careers. But according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, success starts with something much simpler: taking care of our basic needs.
Abraham Maslow (1943), founder of the concept of the hierachy of human needs wrote that human needs are hierachical and in order to reach a point of creativity (what Maslow might call 'self-actualisation') wherein we can work more effectively on achieving career goals, lifestyle goals or excelling in our lives (in whatever way that may show up for you), we must first acheive the basics: social wellbeing, physiological wellbeing and safety and self-esteem. The following two quotes from Maslow highlight his theory well:
“Self-actualized people [...] live more in the real world of nature than in the man-made mass of concepts, abstractions, expectations, beliefs and stereotypes that most people confuse with the world.” (Maslow, 1971, p.34).
“Human needs arrange themselves in hierarchies of pre-potency. That is to say, the appearance of one need usually rests on the prior satisfaction of another, more pre-potent need. Man is a perpetually wanting animal. Also no need or drive can be treated as if it were isolated or discrete; every drive is related to the state of satisfaction or dissatisfaction of other drives.” (Maslow, 2012, p.5).
Below is a visual aid to reflect the Hierachy of Needs.

So .... here are some considerations and some context when you start thinking about those goals and ambitions:
Why Sleep and Safety Matter
At the core of Maslow’s theory is the idea that we need to meet our basic needs—like sleep, food, and having a safe place to live—before we can focus on bigger goals. If we’re tired, hungry, or worried about our safety, it’s almost impossible to concentrate on self-improvement or long-term plans. That’s why making sure you’re well-rested and have a secure environment isn’t just good for your health—it’s the first step toward achieving any goal.
Think about it: if you’re not getting enough sleep, your energy and motivation will plummet, making it tough to stick to resolutions like working out or improving your skills. The same goes for feeling safe and stable; when your mind is consumed with stress or fear, there’s little room left for growth or ambition - your nervous system may even be stuck in fight or flight - not 'create'.
The Power of Social Support
Once your basic needs are met, the next layer of Maslow’s hierarchy is about connection. We all need relationships, community, and a sense of belonging to thrive. Having supportive friends, family, or community groups can give you the encouragement and accountability you need to stay on track with any resolutions.
However, I do recognise that not everyone has equal access to these resources. For some, economic challenges or social/institutional marginalisation make it hard to focus on anything beyond immediate survival.
Understanding Social Challenges
For many people, things like food insecurity or unstable housing can put long-term goals on the back burner. That’s why it’s crucial to support resources like food banks and shelters, which help individuals meet their basic needs so they can start thinking about bigger aspirations.
When we acknowledge these challenges, we create a more supportive environment where everyone has a better shot at achieving their dreams. Taking care of basic needs isn’t just a personal responsibility; it’s a community effort that benefits everyone. If you can help support those around you, perhaps consider giving to foodbanks, donating to charities such as AKT youth homelessness charity ... or even popping next door and seeing how you can lend a hand to those around you.
So what is the proposed takeaway?
Whilst chaos reigns supreme in your mind and body at the thought of the changing of the year,
it is important to understand the nuance of what success actually means to you, outside of socially defined and age-stereotyped versions of what stage of life you should be in. Additionally it is important to create a holistic understanding (and kindness) towards yourself (body and mind) regarding what you really needs to focus on in order to work towards big goals. As van Gogh wrote in a letter to his brother, Theo, in 1882:
"for the great doesn’t happen through impulse alone, [it] is a succession of little things that are brought together".
If you're looking to focus on meaningful goals and think therapy might be the right fit for you, feel free to get in touch! You can reach out via my contact form or drop me an email at catherinejvanmaanengmail.com to schedule a complimentary 15-20 minute introductory call. This chat will give us a chance to discuss your needs and to consider a tailored approach just for you.
While therapy isn't a magical fix, it's a collaborative journey where we can evaluate your current situation, explore your personal background, and pinpoint your goals. Together, we can gain a clearer understanding of yourself, the challenges you're facing, and what you truly desire from life.
I wish you a pleasant (and not at all bleak!) mid-winter,
Cat :)
Bibliography
Maslow, A. H. (2012) A Theory of Human Motivation. [no place]: Start Publishing LLC.
Maslow, A. H. (1971) The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. New York: Viking Press.
van Gogh, V. (1882) Letter to Theo van Gogh, 22 October 1881. Available at: https://vangoghletters.org/vg/letters/let274/letter.html (Accessed: 12 Januart 2025).
As usual, here is a song that I've chosen to accompany this piece as it reflects the sense of time and how we move and flow with it. Give it a listen on your commute, whilst chilling at home, or during a walk!